Wednesday, December 15, 2010
INFO LEAK: CRUCIAL PARTY DETAILS REVEALED
Little Cousin Kyle* snuck into the Tacky Christmas HQ (where the party is located) whilst the staff was enjoying some post-Christmas-Nacho comas. He was on a mission. The Committee for a tackier Christmas is stumped as to why, but the staff at WikiChristmasLeaks is thrilled to have received the map he was able to carefully sketch out in crayon (from memory!). He reads at a second grade level, maps like Columbus, and we have it on good authority that he was vaccinated from the cooties via a circle circle dot dot cootie shot from Melissa at recess. The girls of Mrs. Miller's class are NOT pleased.
He's good. He's very good. This is vital info.
More after the jump
The back of HQ:
He didn't include a scale, but from his detailed verbal history, its big enough for lots of people. And presents.
I guess he was even able to sneak upstairs:
While these are clearly rough sketches, we are confident that they are at least mostly accurate. He currently has Os in both Language Arts and Social Studies. He's a modern day Mozart with the Crayola 8 pack. He even mentioned that there was a basement adorned with wrapping paper and more "pretty lites" but he was too scared to go down there because it sounded like people were awake and playing games down there. The staff at WikiChristmasLeaks can't thank him enough for his efforts for the good of the site.
WikiChristmasLeaks has learned that the Committee for a Tackier Christmas has learned that they were breached, but maintains the position that no irreparable damage was caused, and it will continue its pursuit of the ultimate Tacky Christmas Party.
After further investigation, the assumption that it was Little Cousin Kyle has been proven inaccurate. The telltale signs were there. Transformers action figures, twizzler wrappers, crayons, and a Spy Kids 3D happy meal toy are some of his favorite things that he always seems to have in his pockets. However, there was one crucial element discovered later that made it clear, Kyle was not the culprit. When an Oscar trophy was discovered lodged in the locked pantry cupboard that stores the beef jerky, it was clear that there was actually a different interloper: